Hello friends,
Despite the lack of comments, I know you are reading. I don't know who you are, but I do know I have readers thanks to the magic of google analytics.
I dug up an old screenplay today that I started 4 years ago. A mere 10 pages, but I really like it! Now I'm going to turn that 10 into 120. I'm thrilled to have rediscovered something I feel I can finish now.
I'll let you know how it goes. Looks like it's going to be a rom-com. Which I usually make fun of, BUT when they are executed well I LOVE them.
Funnily enough, I picked up Nora Ephron's book yesterday and read the thing at the book store. It's her newest one...I can't even remember the title at the moment. The book wasn't all that great (I would have appreciated it more had I been older) but I kept reading because what is great is her writer's voice. It's very distinct. And I was hoping to pick up any golden nuggets of information since she has written and directed some fantastic movies.
Her book must have inspired me because now I'm determined to write this rom-com. Besides reading The Hollywood Reporter magazine (I do not subscribe as that would ruin the fun of going to the book store), Nora Ephron has given me another reason weekly trips to the book store pay off.
11/22/2010
Monotony
I need some solace
A place where everything stops
But where nothing stays the same.
I want what I've never known.
What's scary is not knowing if that will be enough
My heart is in another place
Ahead of my logic.
The contradictions of my life are mere presentations of foresight
If only I could know the foreshadowing signs
My life as it will be.
I get bored with regularity
Excited for the new
Ready to continue on forever
but then forever becomes monotonous
and I'm ready to move along.
Next step
getting me where I've always wanted
Where imagination precedes reality.
A place where everything stops
But where nothing stays the same.
I want what I've never known.
What's scary is not knowing if that will be enough
My heart is in another place
Ahead of my logic.
The contradictions of my life are mere presentations of foresight
If only I could know the foreshadowing signs
My life as it will be.
I get bored with regularity
Excited for the new
Ready to continue on forever
but then forever becomes monotonous
and I'm ready to move along.
Next step
getting me where I've always wanted
Where imagination precedes reality.
11/05/2010
Zumba!
Zumba is the most entertaining aerobics class I have ever taken.
Let me elaborate on my Zumba experience...
Many friends have told me "You gotta try Zumba!" For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about it is an aerobics class which incorporates dancing as the cardio workout.
The stars finally aligned and the opportunity arose for me to take a Zumba class last night. I almost sat at home and ate a pizza, but for whatever reason I got my butt off the couch (well, floor, as my new place is still lacking in furniture).
I arrived right on time. Only one other girl my age was present. Then came in two large people. A married couple, I assume. Good for them for taking control of their health and working out! However, dancing fat people are my weakness.
As soon as the teacher ENTHUSIASTICALLY began the class (seriously, this was a high energy woman) I knew it was over. HOW WAS I NOT GOING TO LAUGH? How do you not laugh at a middle aged overweight male dancing, no, SHAKING HIS HIPS to Rhianna's 'Rude Boy'??? And on top of that, there was not one but TWO middle aged overweight men. One of them was obese.
It was a mentally exhausting workout from trying to look coordinated to holding in my laughter. When I would start to crack I made myself focus on my own dance moves. But then that was just a joke. I felt like I was 14 again and on the cheerleading squad. When I was a cheerleader, I was okay. I didn't look bad, but I didn't look great. I had to work to get those pep rally dance moves down! In 8th grade you want to look good, but I was never quite able to look as cool as most of the other girls when I danced. It took so much effort. Now I just accept the fact that I'm a mediocre dancer. I'm a white girl. I don't care. Now you couldn't pay me to be a cheerleader.
That said, this class gave me flashbacks of that awkward time. But then I would just look around and realize comparatively, I'm not that bad. These classes could be really good for my self esteem. But more importantly, they are great for my personal entertainment. So, I'll be back Zumba.
I'll be back.
Let me elaborate on my Zumba experience...
Many friends have told me "You gotta try Zumba!" For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about it is an aerobics class which incorporates dancing as the cardio workout.
The stars finally aligned and the opportunity arose for me to take a Zumba class last night. I almost sat at home and ate a pizza, but for whatever reason I got my butt off the couch (well, floor, as my new place is still lacking in furniture).
I arrived right on time. Only one other girl my age was present. Then came in two large people. A married couple, I assume. Good for them for taking control of their health and working out! However, dancing fat people are my weakness.
As soon as the teacher ENTHUSIASTICALLY began the class (seriously, this was a high energy woman) I knew it was over. HOW WAS I NOT GOING TO LAUGH? How do you not laugh at a middle aged overweight male dancing, no, SHAKING HIS HIPS to Rhianna's 'Rude Boy'??? And on top of that, there was not one but TWO middle aged overweight men. One of them was obese.
It was a mentally exhausting workout from trying to look coordinated to holding in my laughter. When I would start to crack I made myself focus on my own dance moves. But then that was just a joke. I felt like I was 14 again and on the cheerleading squad. When I was a cheerleader, I was okay. I didn't look bad, but I didn't look great. I had to work to get those pep rally dance moves down! In 8th grade you want to look good, but I was never quite able to look as cool as most of the other girls when I danced. It took so much effort. Now I just accept the fact that I'm a mediocre dancer. I'm a white girl. I don't care. Now you couldn't pay me to be a cheerleader.
That said, this class gave me flashbacks of that awkward time. But then I would just look around and realize comparatively, I'm not that bad. These classes could be really good for my self esteem. But more importantly, they are great for my personal entertainment. So, I'll be back Zumba.
I'll be back.
11/04/2010
Intuition
I had a dream last night
As most nights.
In this dream I had a plan
then woke up
knowing what to do.
I feel on beat
On key
Finally everything is flowing.
Making tangible the ideas stored inside
A time for ruminating
Allowing me to create a step by step guide.
I may not be at the pace of everyone else
My journey is not your own.
Not waiting for perfection
But trusting my intuition.
Soon enough all will see
My mind's eye
The vision I have for me.
As most nights.
In this dream I had a plan
then woke up
knowing what to do.
I feel on beat
On key
Finally everything is flowing.
Making tangible the ideas stored inside
A time for ruminating
Allowing me to create a step by step guide.
I may not be at the pace of everyone else
My journey is not your own.
Not waiting for perfection
But trusting my intuition.
Soon enough all will see
My mind's eye
The vision I have for me.
10/31/2010
My Burden
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
I don't want to talk to you
No. I really don't want to.
You're the grey cloud over my life
A sad, true fact.
My life began to unravel at the age of 8 years old
When dad left my mom for reasons I didn't know.
Mom laid on the couch for years to come
Reaching her hand out for me to hold.
And that's how it's been for the rest of my life.
You weren't there when I needed you most
You made me wait more than you even know.
pain.
pain.
pain.
I don't accept the way you are
I don't believe in you anymore
When I was little I could count on you
15 years since you were there to soothe my soul.
Time was my best friend
it had the ability to one day set me free.
When fifteen rolled around,
Used to instability.
Another shot at the heart,
Dad no longer found.
grief.
grief.
grief.
It's so hard because you don't understand
To you I am wrong and have become less than.
You hurt my father
you hurt our family
you hurt me.
I forgive you
I know you aren't capable of sanity.
That doesn't change the past or present
I have freed myself from the strings you tied so tight
I can take care of myself
Been doing it all my life.
You put all your heartache onto my soul
I learned how to walk with bricks on my back.
One by one I've torn them down
until my back bears no burden of your own.
Ring.
Ring.
I don't want to talk to you
No. I really don't want to.
You're the grey cloud over my life
A sad, true fact.
My life began to unravel at the age of 8 years old
When dad left my mom for reasons I didn't know.
Mom laid on the couch for years to come
Reaching her hand out for me to hold.
And that's how it's been for the rest of my life.
You weren't there when I needed you most
You made me wait more than you even know.
pain.
pain.
pain.
I don't accept the way you are
I don't believe in you anymore
When I was little I could count on you
15 years since you were there to soothe my soul.
Time was my best friend
it had the ability to one day set me free.
When fifteen rolled around,
Used to instability.
Another shot at the heart,
Dad no longer found.
grief.
grief.
grief.
It's so hard because you don't understand
To you I am wrong and have become less than.
You hurt my father
you hurt our family
you hurt me.
I forgive you
I know you aren't capable of sanity.
That doesn't change the past or present
I have freed myself from the strings you tied so tight
I can take care of myself
Been doing it all my life.
You put all your heartache onto my soul
I learned how to walk with bricks on my back.
One by one I've torn them down
until my back bears no burden of your own.
10/30/2010
That's How it Goes
Why does it always go that the phone call comes
when it's too little too late
Another day I would have done anything to have it be you
To hear your voice asking to see me
Now I'm so over it
Wish you the best
but the truth is I really don't care if I ever see you again
And now here you are
trying to make your way back in
That's how it goes
I even knew it back then
Knew once I stopped loving you
you'd want me again
I loved you more than you'll ever know
And now I'm not really sure why
You didn't give me reason to
I didn't know any better
I couldn't love you now
you never understood me
you never knew how to love me
Back then I just wanted you to try
Things are different now
Time changed me
You changed me
Now I know better
Wish you the best
but the truth is I really don't care if I ever see you again.
when it's too little too late
Another day I would have done anything to have it be you
To hear your voice asking to see me
Now I'm so over it
Wish you the best
but the truth is I really don't care if I ever see you again
And now here you are
trying to make your way back in
That's how it goes
I even knew it back then
Knew once I stopped loving you
you'd want me again
I loved you more than you'll ever know
And now I'm not really sure why
You didn't give me reason to
I didn't know any better
I couldn't love you now
you never understood me
you never knew how to love me
Back then I just wanted you to try
Things are different now
Time changed me
You changed me
Now I know better
Wish you the best
but the truth is I really don't care if I ever see you again.
10/29/2010
HONESTY
Here's my problem with sharing my writing. I always tend to write about love. And from my own experience. So it ends up being about someone. Usually someone in my present, or recent past. And I'm not really comfortable with sharing that kind of nakedness with people.
But I think I need to get over that. I mean, honesty is scary. Especially for me, when it comes to love. And obviously if I'm writing about this stuff, I need to get it off my chest, and I think putting it out into the open will be completely freeing. (I mean look at Taylor Swift, she's learned to capitalize off her love stories! And she's taking names!)
Sooo, here it goes. This is basically a page from my diary.
---------?TITLE?-------------
Two weeks was all we needed to fan our fire into flame.
Everything was magic, and seen through rose colored glasses.
You kept surprising me by raising the bar
Giving me exactly what I needed
Then we said goodbye
You didn't know, but I cried
I thought it was over
Then you didn't let go
Excited and relieved
it was new territory to me
Everything about us seemed exactly right.
Two weeks together again
you showed me home. Your life.
It all felt quite nice.
But then reality hit
and me being so idealistic thought miles shouldn't matter
All I wanted was for you to look past it
Tell me that we could figure it out
but you said no.
You had caught yourself
Freaked out
Were no longer willing to see what could come about.
Summer to fall and you asked to call, but fall turned to winter
Then some texts, thanks to alcohol
I hated that, because it just brought me to my past
Disappointment was all I felt
I thought you knew better than that.
But I couldn't tell you these things
the line had been drawn
the miles had created the distance I feared.
A year after we met, fate put us back where we began
But it's a whole different game when you've already tried
No boundaries set, I wanted to be carefree
But when the heart's involved it's more of a tightrope walk.
I played the balancing act hoping to get a glimmer of the past,
I believed in love too much not to try.
You said who knows, and we'll see
Grey used to be attractive to me
Oh, the elusivity.
Now, to me, grey just means you're too scared to say no.
Because maybe down the road, you'll regret letting go.
With love, I have a hard time forgetting
It's an unnatural feeling
to have someone important fade into the past.
But that was a girl
who wasn't quite sure of what to do or where to go
I don't have it all figured out, but this I know now
You are a part of my story,
Sometimes that's all it's meant to be.
Not the beginning or the ending,
But a chapter in between.
But I think I need to get over that. I mean, honesty is scary. Especially for me, when it comes to love. And obviously if I'm writing about this stuff, I need to get it off my chest, and I think putting it out into the open will be completely freeing. (I mean look at Taylor Swift, she's learned to capitalize off her love stories! And she's taking names!)
Sooo, here it goes. This is basically a page from my diary.
---------?TITLE?-------------
Two weeks was all we needed to fan our fire into flame.
Everything was magic, and seen through rose colored glasses.
You kept surprising me by raising the bar
Giving me exactly what I needed
Then we said goodbye
You didn't know, but I cried
I thought it was over
Then you didn't let go
Excited and relieved
it was new territory to me
Everything about us seemed exactly right.
Two weeks together again
you showed me home. Your life.
It all felt quite nice.
But then reality hit
and me being so idealistic thought miles shouldn't matter
All I wanted was for you to look past it
Tell me that we could figure it out
but you said no.
You had caught yourself
Freaked out
Were no longer willing to see what could come about.
Summer to fall and you asked to call, but fall turned to winter
Then some texts, thanks to alcohol
I hated that, because it just brought me to my past
Disappointment was all I felt
I thought you knew better than that.
But I couldn't tell you these things
the line had been drawn
the miles had created the distance I feared.
A year after we met, fate put us back where we began
But it's a whole different game when you've already tried
No boundaries set, I wanted to be carefree
But when the heart's involved it's more of a tightrope walk.
I played the balancing act hoping to get a glimmer of the past,
I believed in love too much not to try.
You said who knows, and we'll see
Grey used to be attractive to me
Oh, the elusivity.
Now, to me, grey just means you're too scared to say no.
Because maybe down the road, you'll regret letting go.
With love, I have a hard time forgetting
It's an unnatural feeling
to have someone important fade into the past.
But that was a girl
who wasn't quite sure of what to do or where to go
I don't have it all figured out, but this I know now
You are a part of my story,
Sometimes that's all it's meant to be.
Not the beginning or the ending,
But a chapter in between.
10/28/2010
Pear Crisp
I have a sweet tooth. Oh, yes, I do! I love a good dessert.
I made this last night when I was craving something sweet. Really, I wanted a diet Pepsi, but I'm trying to lay off the chemical laden drinks. This totally satisfied my sweet tooth.
I'm still laying off dairy. The ice cream is dairy free. And I'm staying away from white sugar. I used organic brown sugar for this. I couldn't find Asian Pears at Publix (which are in season here in FL) so instead I used organic Bartlett pears. I need to pay a visit to the Farmer's Market. Recipe Here!
I made this last night when I was craving something sweet. Really, I wanted a diet Pepsi, but I'm trying to lay off the chemical laden drinks. This totally satisfied my sweet tooth.I'm still laying off dairy. The ice cream is dairy free. And I'm staying away from white sugar. I used organic brown sugar for this. I couldn't find Asian Pears at Publix (which are in season here in FL) so instead I used organic Bartlett pears. I need to pay a visit to the Farmer's Market. Recipe Here!
10/26/2010
Food for Fall
Tonight for dinner I had a colorful fall dish of roasted butternut squash and a baked sweet potato. It was so good. I had never roasted squash, and have never been a huge fan of it anyway. But roasting it brought out so much flavor. I only seasoned it with some olive oil, a pinch of sea salt, and black pepper. But it tasted as though I had used plenty of butter.It's also amazing how filling vegetables are. Usually I would add a green or some sort of grain, but I was actually full after the vegetables.
I'm also aiming to eat things that are in season, which is basically macrobiotics. It definitely takes some thought and planning but I want to educate myself and get used to it so that it becomes a natural habit.
Here's a list of what's in season for fall in Florida:
brocolli
cabbage
tomatoes
beans
asian pears
cucumbers
greens
herbs
pumpkins
squash
sweet potatoes
Tomorrow I'm attempting a bean and squash dish. Gotta get my protein!
And actually, that is the number one question I usually get from people concerned about my herbivore diet. Where do you get your protein? Here's a fantastic article about that. I understand, because that was a concern of mine before I did research, but it turns out most people consume too much protein. Maybe that's a factor in my body becoming more naturally slender once my diet changed. I don't know. But the article is informative.
10/25/2010
Let's Try That One More Time
After my disappointment last night in my attempt at trying a new pasta dish, I decided to try again. This time...oh, so good! Glad I tried again. Now I have lunch for a few days!
Again, here's the link to the recipe.
Ahhh, I love food.
10/24/2010
The In Between
Two years ago
a girl all aglow
With the life that lay ahead
Little did she know the pain that must be felt
Because those that have experience know
To come into your own
There’s a lot of pain to be dealt
Now waiting for someone to transcend her line of thought
to rest above the line she has drawn
It’s coming
She knows
It’s coming
She knows
Meantime is limbo
Cultivating for a purpose
Beyond friendship
Beyond love
She shifts into a shape
To fit the puzzle piece
An almost perfect fit
One more cut equips her the angle to settle in
A masterpiece in the making
One day she will realize
Each ache adds to her beauty
One more piece and she'll be ready
for something she's never known.
I stumbled upon this today. I wrote it back in 2007. Thought I'd share.
Back in the kitchen
Now that I have my own place, I'm going to be cooking again! I'm going back to preparing vegan dishes. I feel so much healthier and look my best when I eat vegan.
I still try to eat vegan, and always vegetarian, but vegan is much more difficult unless you cook for yourself.
It's so nice to finally have my very own kitchen. Although I did appreciate my aunt's kitchen since it came with every utensil necessary, whereas I'm starting from scratch. So nothing too fancy yet, maybe Christmas will bring some fun kitchen wear! (Wow, this is the first time I've ever had home appliances at the top of my wish list. I'm a real grown up, I suppose?)
Here's the nice pasta dish that I attempted tonight which I found on thekindlife.com.
UNFORTUNATELY, I goofed on some of the measurements. It was way too salty. Better luck next time.
I still try to eat vegan, and always vegetarian, but vegan is much more difficult unless you cook for yourself.
It's so nice to finally have my very own kitchen. Although I did appreciate my aunt's kitchen since it came with every utensil necessary, whereas I'm starting from scratch. So nothing too fancy yet, maybe Christmas will bring some fun kitchen wear! (Wow, this is the first time I've ever had home appliances at the top of my wish list. I'm a real grown up, I suppose?)
Here's the nice pasta dish that I attempted tonight which I found on thekindlife.com.
UNFORTUNATELY, I goofed on some of the measurements. It was way too salty. Better luck next time.
10/23/2010
Instant Gratification
I've noticed something. A lot of people don't see the big picture. They don't understand that to get to where you want to be it's not an overnight process. Impatience kills them. They allow the concept of instant gratification to get in the way of achieving what they want. Waiting is not a bad thing. Sure, it can be frustrating at times, but sometimes it's the most important part of our journey because it's where we learn the lessons that we need in order to get to the the place we want to be.
I can't get this song out of my head.
One of my favorite scenes ever. Because expectations usually don't align with reality. Especially for idealists like Tom and me.
http://vimeo.com/8448267
http://vimeo.com/8448267
10/22/2010
Promotion
What a fantastic week. As if moving into my own place wasn't enough I showed up at work today to find out I've been promoted. Super happy. I'm not going to write about work because it's not exactly professional to do so, but just wanted to share my excitement!
10/21/2010
In keeping with the theme of this blog, here's a summary of Everything I've Never Done, but have now accomplished since beginning this blog:
1. Graduated from college.
2. Went to The Cannes Film Festival...again.
3. Had a short film entered into the festival.
4. Bought a car.
5. Moved from Fl to Tn. From Tn to Fl. Again.
6. Got my own place.
7. Confused myself with love. Twice. Still figuring that out.
8. Tried a vegan diet. Loved it. Stuck with a Vegetarian lifestyle. Gave up vegan when I went to France. Cheese is so good.
9. Stopped caring what other people think.
10. Made a plan for my life.
11. Broke it.
1. Graduated from college.
2. Went to The Cannes Film Festival...again.
3. Had a short film entered into the festival.
4. Bought a car.
5. Moved from Fl to Tn. From Tn to Fl. Again.
6. Got my own place.
7. Confused myself with love. Twice. Still figuring that out.
8. Tried a vegan diet. Loved it. Stuck with a Vegetarian lifestyle. Gave up vegan when I went to France. Cheese is so good.
9. Stopped caring what other people think.
10. Made a plan for my life.
11. Broke it.
Back
To friends and whoever may stumble upon this,
My life keeps changing. Over and over. Thank God I like change. Guess that's why it happens. I ask for the change.
This year has been a transitional year. I went home, to come back to the place that I came from. I'm happy to be back. Thrilled, actually. But I don't think it's permanent. I don't really see anything as permanent though.
However, this year I've been more inclined to look for the permanent. I got to the point where I was absolutely sick and tired of the inconsistency in my life. I wanted some stability. Somewhere that felt like home. Someplace to call home.
I think I have found it here. However, I'm still searching for it in other ways. Like in love. I haven't found that stability and passion. I've experienced both sides of the spectrum, but never the right combination of the two (stability and passion) that I desire.
This year is about getting back in touch with the things that I want and doing those things. I have some ideas up my sleeve to get back in touch with the creative side of myself that I really miss. So stay tuned. Writing is going to be a prime part of my life again so I'll be keeping up with this blog again.
Love,
Heather
My life keeps changing. Over and over. Thank God I like change. Guess that's why it happens. I ask for the change.
This year has been a transitional year. I went home, to come back to the place that I came from. I'm happy to be back. Thrilled, actually. But I don't think it's permanent. I don't really see anything as permanent though.
However, this year I've been more inclined to look for the permanent. I got to the point where I was absolutely sick and tired of the inconsistency in my life. I wanted some stability. Somewhere that felt like home. Someplace to call home.
I think I have found it here. However, I'm still searching for it in other ways. Like in love. I haven't found that stability and passion. I've experienced both sides of the spectrum, but never the right combination of the two (stability and passion) that I desire.
This year is about getting back in touch with the things that I want and doing those things. I have some ideas up my sleeve to get back in touch with the creative side of myself that I really miss. So stay tuned. Writing is going to be a prime part of my life again so I'll be keeping up with this blog again.
Love,
Heather
6/14/2010
Worst blogger ever
Guess I'm not cut out to be a professional blogger considering my last post was over a month ago and I failed to blog while I was at the Cannes Film Festival. Whoops.
Well, there are plenty of updates, but here are some pictures from my experience at the Cannes Film Festival to hold you over.
Matt Lauer performing the ribbon cutting ceremony for the opening of the festival.
Ryan Gosling was there promoting his new movie 'Blue Valentine', along with Michelle Williams. My favorite film of the festival. The two also spoke on a panel at the American Pavilion.
Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett at a press conference for the opener of the festival, 'Robin Hood'.
Well, there are plenty of updates, but here are some pictures from my experience at the Cannes Film Festival to hold you over.
Matt Lauer performing the ribbon cutting ceremony for the opening of the festival.
Ryan Gosling was there promoting his new movie 'Blue Valentine', along with Michelle Williams. My favorite film of the festival. The two also spoke on a panel at the American Pavilion.
Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett at a press conference for the opener of the festival, 'Robin Hood'.
5/07/2010
Time for Cannes
All right. Leaving for Cannes soon. I'm going to blog. I didn't last year. But my resolution for this Cannes year is to keep a blog going! I arrive on Sunday. Keep checking for updates!
Main objective for Cannes Film Festival internship 2010:
Get a job!!!!!!!!! Preferably one that sends me to L.A.
Time to work hard and play hard!
Main objective for Cannes Film Festival internship 2010:
Get a job!!!!!!!!! Preferably one that sends me to L.A.
Time to work hard and play hard!
4/28/2010
Cannes, I love you!
Career wise things are picking up majorly!!
I found out my short film "Glimpse" is being shown in the short film corner at the Cannes Film Festival. Great for networking!
As some of you know, I am interning at the festival for my second year. Today I found out that my internship will be with Access Hollywood! I am extremely ecstatic about this! I am looking to relocate to LA so how awesome (since their studio is in Burbank, CA) that now I'll be able to make some great connections to aid in that move, and no telling what I'll learn and who I will be meeting!
God is awesome! Prayers are being answered. These last couple months have consumed me with family matters, but now it's time to work hard and play hard in the beautiful city of Cannes!
I found out my short film "Glimpse" is being shown in the short film corner at the Cannes Film Festival. Great for networking!
As some of you know, I am interning at the festival for my second year. Today I found out that my internship will be with Access Hollywood! I am extremely ecstatic about this! I am looking to relocate to LA so how awesome (since their studio is in Burbank, CA) that now I'll be able to make some great connections to aid in that move, and no telling what I'll learn and who I will be meeting!
God is awesome! Prayers are being answered. These last couple months have consumed me with family matters, but now it's time to work hard and play hard in the beautiful city of Cannes!
4/14/2010
4/10/2010
Cannes Opening
The list isn't out yet of the films to be shown at this year's Cannes Film Festival, but it has been announced that the opening film is Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood". (Quite different from last year's "UP" which was the opener for Cannes. Love the variety.)
Looks good, Ridley.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSqL9ygBCck
Looks good, Ridley.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSqL9ygBCck
4/08/2010
Sick of Facebook
I'm taking some time away from Facebook. It's my own fault. If only I could use it properly and not log in multiple times a day then it wouldn't be a problem. But no. I have gotten into an awful habit of checking facebook when I wake up, after I work out, after I grocery shop, waiting to meet up with someone, at first sight of boredom, and the list goes on and on.
I've never done this before, surprisingly. I like being connected, and communicating with people! Especially since my closest friends live hundreds of miles away. The irony is I'll probably talk to them more now than when I use Facebook.
Already I took the time to call a friend this morning. Someone I think of quite often, but hadn't had a quality conversation with for a couple months.
I'm doing it for the rest of the month, and perhaps even until I leave for France in May. I won't really need it until I am overseas when it really will be my only connection to friends.
It's just something I know I need to do for myself. I'm making it a post because it's something I've never done (as fits in with the title of my blog). Looking forward to cutting out some of the white noise from my life, and focusing that misspent engergy on more productive things!
4/03/2010
One Month and a Hamburger Later...
Yesterday marked one month into my vegan diet. At the start of this venture I decided a month into it I would eat a burger to see how it would affect my body.So tonight, I did something I haven't done since 2009. I drove through McDonald's. I haven't had fast food since December, and on top of that no meat or dairy for one month. I was a little worried, but mainly curious to see if I would enjoy this meal.
Last year I usually had a McFlurry once or twice a month. Usually along with a cheeseburger. Today, out of my habit of staying away from cheese (dairy), I automatically ordered a hamburger instead. (I'm glad to know my subconcious has kicked in and it is becoming second nature to eat vegan.)
Not going to lie, the McFlurry was good. However, I haven't had processed sugar in a couple months so right now I have a headache. As a result I don't think I'll get a craving for one anytime soon.
The hamburger was gross. I know too much. It was hard to finish eating it with all the knowledge that I have about factory farming.
My stomach isn't upset so far. (It's been two hours, but my stomach rarely gets upset so I'm not surprised. A blessing and a curse because I can eat whatever I want without it bothering me.) Also, it definitely tasted salty, so I am really thirsty.
Moral of the story: Dinner tonight left much to be desired. I'm going to keep forging ahead with a vegan diet. It makes me feel good, look good, and tastes way better than McDonald's!
*Happy Easter!*
3/25/2010
3/23/2010
Vegan Update- WEEK 3
I'm on week three of my new vegan diet. I'm still going strong, and it's been a surprisingly smooth transition. Especially after doing more research. If you're interested check out the book "Eating Animals" by one of my favorite authors Jonathan Safran Foer. (He also wrote one of my favorite books "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close".)
This diet is a phenomenon for my body. I didn't think I would lose any weight this past week, but once again I lost 1-2 pounds. Besides the detox from dairy and meat, it must also have to do with cutting out white sugar. I still have a sweet tooth, but I sastisfy it with wholesome products, nothing with preservatives and instead of white sugar- cane sugar, agave, maple syrup, or brown rice syrup. And it's not that I'm losing muscle. I am getting more toned. So, yeah, besides being a plus for the environment and animals it's making me look good! And let's face it, I want a career as an actress so I have to take care of my body.
Thanks for checking in! Hope your week is going great!
3/21/2010
Kristen Stewart, can I have your job?
No auditions this week. Boo to that. I have so much emotional and creative energy to put into a role it's ridiculous...
In the meantime, I'm living vicariously through Kristen Stewart. Yes, I'm watching New Moon. I hate to admit it, but I really like New Moon. Wasn't a fan of Twilight, but this movie I like. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I envy Kristen Stewart's role. Not that Bella Swan is my dream role, but um, it's a pretty fantastic role to get as an actress. I love the idea of being a character derived from a book. I love to read, and it would be so fun to bring a literary character to life.
In the meantime, I'm living vicariously through Kristen Stewart. Yes, I'm watching New Moon. I hate to admit it, but I really like New Moon. Wasn't a fan of Twilight, but this movie I like. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I envy Kristen Stewart's role. Not that Bella Swan is my dream role, but um, it's a pretty fantastic role to get as an actress. I love the idea of being a character derived from a book. I love to read, and it would be so fun to bring a literary character to life.
3/13/2010
Some FOOD
Vegan diet still going strong, and I am feeling really good. Lost a pound this week. And my skin is already looking better. 
This picture is all wrong, but these are rice crispy treats. And they are sooooo goood! I don't miss non-vegan desserts at all. These are more filling because there isn't any white sugar (eating that stuff just makes you crave it more.) There are tons of good substitutes. For this I used Brown rice syrup. So easy to make too!
This is some miso soup which I am making a staple because it is so stinking healthy. I used white miso because it's all I had at the time, but next time I'm going to use barley miso which will taste more like the miso soup I am used to.
Breakfast. Rice porridge, dried apricots, pitted dates, and walnuts. Really good. I love eating clean because now I can taste flavors so much better! It's crazy.
This picture is all wrong, but these are rice crispy treats. And they are sooooo goood! I don't miss non-vegan desserts at all. These are more filling because there isn't any white sugar (eating that stuff just makes you crave it more.) There are tons of good substitutes. For this I used Brown rice syrup. So easy to make too!
This is some miso soup which I am making a staple because it is so stinking healthy. I used white miso because it's all I had at the time, but next time I'm going to use barley miso which will taste more like the miso soup I am used to.
Breakfast. Rice porridge, dried apricots, pitted dates, and walnuts. Really good. I love eating clean because now I can taste flavors so much better! It's crazy. Week two, here we go!
Putting Yourself Out There
Audition #2. For this I had to have a British accent. I was instantly thankful for my elementary school friends and I who had an odd habit and facination of speaking in a British accent. We even went as far as 'tricking' one of our substitute teachers into thinking one of us was from The UK. Considering my elementary school is in a small town outside of Nashville, TN...I'm not sure how convincing we were.
Anyway, I was happy not to feel completely out of my league. It was just for a training video for a corporation (but, hey a job's a job this early in the game!) The director was nice, and seemed to like my performance but I was too young for the part. I kind of new that walking in. How ironic in a business where usually the younger the better! At the ripe age of 23, I was too young for the part!
But before I left he told me he wanted to contact me about another project concering my skill set (listed on my resume.) Sweet! I'm thinking maybe it's for editing?
Even though I knew more than likely I wasn't the one for this part, I forced myself to go because you really never know when or where an opportunity will arise. That's the exciting part about life (and the frustrating)... WHEN WHEN WHEN. That's always seems to be the question, right?
WHEN will I get my break?
WHEN will I meet the man/woman I want to marry?
WHEN will I have a stable career?
WHEN will I...
I'm not going to lie. Looking forward to WHEN things are more settled. I love the 20s, but seriously, how much more self discovery can one take? I'm over that! I know myself already damnit! I'm ready for the more tangible (partner, blossoming career, ect.) Mid twenties, bring me that please!
One day at a time, right?
I have digressed, but that's okay. I am going to digress one more time to say--
Go see "Remember Me" if you can. I was awestruck. I had no idea what it was really about...until the end. Tears streaming. I want to see it again now that I know the ending.
Anyway, I was happy not to feel completely out of my league. It was just for a training video for a corporation (but, hey a job's a job this early in the game!) The director was nice, and seemed to like my performance but I was too young for the part. I kind of new that walking in. How ironic in a business where usually the younger the better! At the ripe age of 23, I was too young for the part!
But before I left he told me he wanted to contact me about another project concering my skill set (listed on my resume.) Sweet! I'm thinking maybe it's for editing?
Even though I knew more than likely I wasn't the one for this part, I forced myself to go because you really never know when or where an opportunity will arise. That's the exciting part about life (and the frustrating)... WHEN WHEN WHEN. That's always seems to be the question, right?
WHEN will I get my break?
WHEN will I meet the man/woman I want to marry?
WHEN will I have a stable career?
WHEN will I...
I'm not going to lie. Looking forward to WHEN things are more settled. I love the 20s, but seriously, how much more self discovery can one take? I'm over that! I know myself already damnit! I'm ready for the more tangible (partner, blossoming career, ect.) Mid twenties, bring me that please!
One day at a time, right?
I have digressed, but that's okay. I am going to digress one more time to say--
Go see "Remember Me" if you can. I was awestruck. I had no idea what it was really about...until the end. Tears streaming. I want to see it again now that I know the ending.
3/09/2010
3/08/2010
Genesis 1:26
I was halfway finished with my cupcake when I realized I hadn't taken a picture of my first-ever-glorious-homeade-vegan dessert. YUM.
Perhaps you're wondering what really convinced me of this new (hopefully life long) diet, you can read The Kind Diet to get the details behind it, but it basically comes down to three extremely important aspects:
a. My health
b. The environment
c. Animals
I've never put a whole lot of thought behind the third factor. I love animals, but just always accepted the fact that we (our society) eats animals. While reading the book I had a bunch of lightbulb moments, and one of them being the realization that I would never be able to skin a cow or something of that nature myself. I would feel horrible doing that (this is gross, but some cows are skinned ALIVE...how awful!) So my light bulb moment was more about respecting nature and what God has blessed us with. If you refer to the Bible, God gave man reign over animals...not only animals but of the entire environment (Genesis 1:26). I don't believe he meant that power to be abused, but that's what has happened in many respects. While reading "The Kind Life" and then relating it to this particular bible verse, it really came together for me.
3/06/2010
Day 2 of My Vegan Venture
I've been cooking up a storm these past two days. Something I've never done to this extent! And I looove it. What I really love is knowing it's healthy and not feeling guilty about it or counting calories.
Although I've made a lot, I only snapped one picture.
But this is only day two of my vegan venture so plenty more to come. I am loving this so far.
Today I made cupcakes (which I like better than any 'regular' cupcake I've had...seriously), a pressed salad, and a black bean stew with squash. The great thing is I haven't broken the bank grocery shopping!
(The picture is a collard green salad with dried cherries and pumpkin seeds. All the recipes are from Alicia Silverstone's book The Kind Diet.)
On an unrelated note...ACADEMY AWARDS TOMORROW! Always inspires me. I'm pulling for Sandra.
Although I've made a lot, I only snapped one picture.
But this is only day two of my vegan venture so plenty more to come. I am loving this so far.
Today I made cupcakes (which I like better than any 'regular' cupcake I've had...seriously), a pressed salad, and a black bean stew with squash. The great thing is I haven't broken the bank grocery shopping!
(The picture is a collard green salad with dried cherries and pumpkin seeds. All the recipes are from Alicia Silverstone's book The Kind Diet.)
On an unrelated note...ACADEMY AWARDS TOMORROW! Always inspires me. I'm pulling for Sandra.
3/04/2010
Wow, I think I'm Going Vegan
Okay, when I used to think of vegan I either got a mental image of a hipster kid or an extreme hippy mom (think Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in 'Away We Go'). So pretty much when I thought of vegans I thought of extremists, or just people who were trying to be trendy.
But I knew there must be some truth to it. For the past couple of years I've been flirting with the idea of a Vegan lifestyle. Every couple of months I would try some sort of vegan recipe, which I would end up really enjoying. But being a broke college student health cost more, and I wasn't ready to do my research or get serious about eating Vegan. Money was somewhat of an excuse, really I just wasn't ready for an entire change in my nutrition. It would have been so inconvenient for the lifestyle I was living.
But I'm not in college anymore. To cut to the chase, today it came together for me. I was in a bookstore, as I often do whenever I have extra time on my hands, and began to read Alicia Silverstone's "The Kind Diet".
And it clicked.
So I'm beginning this. Full force. At the first of the year I did a nutritional cleanse. Since then my diet has improved dramatically, and there has been a change in my body. For example, I don't crave sugar nearly as much as I used to. (I've even given up my once daily frappuccino habit without disdain. They just don't taste great to me anymore.) But now I know that was just a stepping stone into an even healthier lifestyle.
Now that I have this knowledge there's no way I could, in good conscience, continue my diet as is. Knowledge is power.
I'll be in the kitchen a lot this week...wish me luck, it's not my most familiar place.
But I knew there must be some truth to it. For the past couple of years I've been flirting with the idea of a Vegan lifestyle. Every couple of months I would try some sort of vegan recipe, which I would end up really enjoying. But being a broke college student health cost more, and I wasn't ready to do my research or get serious about eating Vegan. Money was somewhat of an excuse, really I just wasn't ready for an entire change in my nutrition. It would have been so inconvenient for the lifestyle I was living.
But I'm not in college anymore. To cut to the chase, today it came together for me. I was in a bookstore, as I often do whenever I have extra time on my hands, and began to read Alicia Silverstone's "The Kind Diet".
And it clicked.
So I'm beginning this. Full force. At the first of the year I did a nutritional cleanse. Since then my diet has improved dramatically, and there has been a change in my body. For example, I don't crave sugar nearly as much as I used to. (I've even given up my once daily frappuccino habit without disdain. They just don't taste great to me anymore.) But now I know that was just a stepping stone into an even healthier lifestyle.
Now that I have this knowledge there's no way I could, in good conscience, continue my diet as is. Knowledge is power.
I'll be in the kitchen a lot this week...wish me luck, it's not my most familiar place.
2/20/2010
A Small Miracle
There was a small miracle that occurred today...
The snow finally melted, and it was warm and sunny... Which means, I got my headshots! To many, this means little. But to me it means, auditions here I come! Let the rejection begin! I'm kidding, of course. I'll be naively hopeful and think that every audition I go to I'm going to get. Because, why not?
I hope your day was miraculous, too.
The snow finally melted, and it was warm and sunny... Which means, I got my headshots! To many, this means little. But to me it means, auditions here I come! Let the rejection begin! I'm kidding, of course. I'll be naively hopeful and think that every audition I go to I'm going to get. Because, why not?
I hope your day was miraculous, too.
2/16/2010
What do you Desire?
I'm in insomnia mode. I'm tired, but can't go to sleep. You see, I've been converting home videos to DVD ALL DAY. I'm snowed in!
Watching all these home videos is really emotionally tiring. It's like reliving part of my childhood, and my childhood wasn't all that grand. Of course, the movies mostly document only the good stuff, but there are feelings that arise related to the time period of each video.
Anyway, I'm just hoping that if I write I'll get tired and won't have all these thoughts swimming in my head.
I did come across such an important movie that I did not remember! In it my grandmother asks me what I want to be when I grow up, to which I assuredly reply "an actress". It was so surreal to hear myself reaffirm my childhood dream which I am pursuing as a career now! I knew I felt that way as a child, and loved acting, but it was so good to hear it out loud. It really reaffirms this desire that I've always had in me.
Once I graduated high school it was hard for me to admit to other people that my dream was to be an actress. There's a sense of responsibility that I felt I had to do something more "stable" and predictable. But that's where we start to stray... when we start worrying about other people's expectations for ourselves.
EXAMPLE:
My dad was meant to be an artist. He loved drawing and creating. However he settled for a state school after his mom strongly discouraged him from going to art school.
His mom, my grandmother, recently told me that it is one of her biggest regrets. He got married after a year or two of college (to my mom) and then fell into the family business owned by my grandfather. He fell into a life where he was just existing, and working solely to pay the bills when (especially a soul like his) needed much more to be truly at ease and free. He passed away when I was 15.
I know my dad would want me to go for what I absolutely love to do! It makes me happy to know that I can make up for his lost opportunity. If you already aren't, then I hope that you do the same for yourself and go for whatever it is you DESIRE.
Watching all these home videos is really emotionally tiring. It's like reliving part of my childhood, and my childhood wasn't all that grand. Of course, the movies mostly document only the good stuff, but there are feelings that arise related to the time period of each video.
Anyway, I'm just hoping that if I write I'll get tired and won't have all these thoughts swimming in my head.
I did come across such an important movie that I did not remember! In it my grandmother asks me what I want to be when I grow up, to which I assuredly reply "an actress". It was so surreal to hear myself reaffirm my childhood dream which I am pursuing as a career now! I knew I felt that way as a child, and loved acting, but it was so good to hear it out loud. It really reaffirms this desire that I've always had in me.
Once I graduated high school it was hard for me to admit to other people that my dream was to be an actress. There's a sense of responsibility that I felt I had to do something more "stable" and predictable. But that's where we start to stray... when we start worrying about other people's expectations for ourselves.
EXAMPLE:
My dad was meant to be an artist. He loved drawing and creating. However he settled for a state school after his mom strongly discouraged him from going to art school.
His mom, my grandmother, recently told me that it is one of her biggest regrets. He got married after a year or two of college (to my mom) and then fell into the family business owned by my grandfather. He fell into a life where he was just existing, and working solely to pay the bills when (especially a soul like his) needed much more to be truly at ease and free. He passed away when I was 15.
I know my dad would want me to go for what I absolutely love to do! It makes me happy to know that I can make up for his lost opportunity. If you already aren't, then I hope that you do the same for yourself and go for whatever it is you DESIRE.
2/14/2010
Bored in the Theatre: A Travesty.
Looking forward to the new show coming out called 'Parenthood'. I'm willing to check out anything produced by Ron Howard (creator of Arrested Development).
Another week is upon me, and still no headshots...thanks to SNOW. Please lay off, snow. I would like to accomplish some stuff this week, thank you. It's not like I live up north where I should be expecting this kind of weather.
I hope everyone is having a grand Valentine's Day. My birthday falls the day before, so it doesn't really get to me if I don't have a "valentine". Particularly this year has been great. For my birthday I went out with one of my best friends whom I've known since elementary school. We saw Valentine's Day....
Which brings me to my point:
Valentine's Day is NOT a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. I would like to hear someone's argument for why they liked the movie. I got extremely bored watching it, and that doesn't usually happen to me when I'm IN the theatre. (Although I did have a birthday martini or two in my system.) But I stand by my opinion that it was a poorly written screenplay. The movie solely rides on the fact that there are 10 billion stars in it.
Oh well.
Happy Valentine's.
Another week is upon me, and still no headshots...thanks to SNOW. Please lay off, snow. I would like to accomplish some stuff this week, thank you. It's not like I live up north where I should be expecting this kind of weather.
I hope everyone is having a grand Valentine's Day. My birthday falls the day before, so it doesn't really get to me if I don't have a "valentine". Particularly this year has been great. For my birthday I went out with one of my best friends whom I've known since elementary school. We saw Valentine's Day....
Which brings me to my point:
Valentine's Day is NOT a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. I would like to hear someone's argument for why they liked the movie. I got extremely bored watching it, and that doesn't usually happen to me when I'm IN the theatre. (Although I did have a birthday martini or two in my system.) But I stand by my opinion that it was a poorly written screenplay. The movie solely rides on the fact that there are 10 billion stars in it.
Oh well.
Happy Valentine's.
2/08/2010
Update
I sent in my short this week to be a part of the Cannes Short Film Corner. It's a project I made last semester- being my final semester in undergrad. After submitting it to my senior portfolio, I went back and edited it to clean it up before submitting it to Cannes. Definitely like the final product better than the school submission.
Having it at Cannes will give me an upperhand in networking. And it really is short (only 5 minutes) so perhaps it will actually get some play time. The title of it is "Glimpse".
This week I am getting headshots and pictures taken to create a portfolio so that I am audition ready. You can't really go to auditions without a headshot handy. So the sooner I get those pics, the sooner I can get to auditioning!
Having it at Cannes will give me an upperhand in networking. And it really is short (only 5 minutes) so perhaps it will actually get some play time. The title of it is "Glimpse".
This week I am getting headshots and pictures taken to create a portfolio so that I am audition ready. You can't really go to auditions without a headshot handy. So the sooner I get those pics, the sooner I can get to auditioning!
1/29/2010
First Loves Never Die
So I had a realization a couple month's ago that I really missed acting. I took a break from it while I got my undergrad, but acting was the catalyst for my love of the film industry. It's just in me, and something that I've always had a serious passion for.
As of Wednesday I was accepted into a talent agency. And the next day I had an audition! Things really move quickly in the industry. It went really well. I was nervous. Besides the fact that it's an audition, I hadn't exercised my acting chops in about 4 years! I didn't know if they may laugh me out of the audition, or worse, be really lukewarm about my performance. Thankfully my talent agent really seemed to be impressed. That was quite a relief to me because it's validation from an unbiased source.
Anyway, I am excited! I'm sure I have lots of growing to do as an actress, and I hope to be booking some stuff to get the experience! Being in Nashville is a real asset because there's definitely some great opportunities here and just starting out it's nice not to be so overwhelmed as I might be in a city like Los Angeles.
Oh, and I won't know if I got the part for a few days. I have no idea how many people I was up against, but I might as well be optimistic about it! Either way, I'm just excited to be in the game. Growing and learning.
Also, getting ready because I am going back for a second time to the CANNES FILM FESTIVAL! More on that to come.
As of Wednesday I was accepted into a talent agency. And the next day I had an audition! Things really move quickly in the industry. It went really well. I was nervous. Besides the fact that it's an audition, I hadn't exercised my acting chops in about 4 years! I didn't know if they may laugh me out of the audition, or worse, be really lukewarm about my performance. Thankfully my talent agent really seemed to be impressed. That was quite a relief to me because it's validation from an unbiased source.
Anyway, I am excited! I'm sure I have lots of growing to do as an actress, and I hope to be booking some stuff to get the experience! Being in Nashville is a real asset because there's definitely some great opportunities here and just starting out it's nice not to be so overwhelmed as I might be in a city like Los Angeles.
Oh, and I won't know if I got the part for a few days. I have no idea how many people I was up against, but I might as well be optimistic about it! Either way, I'm just excited to be in the game. Growing and learning.
Also, getting ready because I am going back for a second time to the CANNES FILM FESTIVAL! More on that to come.
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