Okay. This has become such a blatant in my face sign that I have to write about it.
For the past month- just after Thanksgiving- I began constantly noticing 11:11, and 1:11. At first it was mostly that I would happen to glance at a digital clock at either of those times. But then it began in other ways. I wish I had written them all down now, but I remember seeing at least one license plate with 111.
Then I realized that my favorite verse (for about 5 years now), happens to be Hebrews 11:1.
Within the past week it began happening more and more. This past week I noticed that a couple texts I sent were at 11:11.
And then tonight- I had three signs within three hours. First, I picked up my cell phone to text a friend, and the clock on my phone was 11:11. Had I picked it up a second later I would have missed it, because I watched as it turned from 11:11 to 11:12.
Then, I happend to look up at the clock on my wall (not a digital) at 12:55. If you recall the face of a clock then you will realize that the big hand was pointing at the 11 while the small hand pointed at the 1.
And finally, a few minutes ago, I was watching a movieclip online. I paused it to do something else, and when I returned I saw that the duration of time that I paused the clip was at 1 minute 11 seconds into the clip.
What is going on?
12/27/2011
12/25/2011
12/21/2011
Patience
Love.
I know what I want, but I'm not sure what to do to get it.
Really, I don't think there's anything I can or need to do as of now?
Except to have patience. And trust.
I know what I want, but I'm not sure what to do to get it.
Really, I don't think there's anything I can or need to do as of now?
Except to have patience. And trust.
No More Construction
I think the roof construction is over! Holding my breath.
I almost lost it this morning after being woken up by it after being up until 3am.
All evidence points to the roof being finished...I'll find out in the morning.
And I have successfully avoided the previously mentioned stalkerish guy.
Things are looking up! (I am easy to please these days.)
I almost lost it this morning after being woken up by it after being up until 3am.
All evidence points to the roof being finished...I'll find out in the morning.
And I have successfully avoided the previously mentioned stalkerish guy.
Things are looking up! (I am easy to please these days.)
12/20/2011
Something to Think About
Within the past month I had this major shift in viewing my close relationships.
I realized that most of the problems arising out of certain relationships of mine had something to do with making choices based out of ego/fear. Fear of rejection. And ego as in "I did x for you, so you should now do y for me." And that's the opposite of unconditional love.
One of the best realizations I had is succumbing to the fact that only the two people involved in the relationship (whether it be friendship or more) will ever really know the true connection and feelings of their relationship. All third party opinions should be taken with a grain of salt.
I'm now fully trusting my heart with the people I love.
I realized that most of the problems arising out of certain relationships of mine had something to do with making choices based out of ego/fear. Fear of rejection. And ego as in "I did x for you, so you should now do y for me." And that's the opposite of unconditional love.
One of the best realizations I had is succumbing to the fact that only the two people involved in the relationship (whether it be friendship or more) will ever really know the true connection and feelings of their relationship. All third party opinions should be taken with a grain of salt.
I'm now fully trusting my heart with the people I love.
An Off Day
Something I disdain, and that bugs me like no other, is having an 'off' day. One of those days when nothing you do flows.
That's how I felt most of today.
On the contrary, I love those days when everything works out just right, and you are feeling awesome and doing your thing. Who doesn't like that, right?
Hopefully tomorrow will be one of those days.
That's how I felt most of today.
On the contrary, I love those days when everything works out just right, and you are feeling awesome and doing your thing. Who doesn't like that, right?
Hopefully tomorrow will be one of those days.
12/19/2011
Up on the Rooftop
Since last week there's been construction happening on my roof. It's been so delightful every morning to be woken up at 7:00am to what sounds like a herd of buffalo running on the roof.
Usually I'm out and about, at least to go for a walk/run in the afternoon. So I made small talk with the construction guys last week. One of them, my age, took a liking to me. He asked for my number. I'm not at all interested in dating the guy, but here's my thing with guys asking for numbers- as long as they are a gentleman about it, I'm not going to reject the guy because it takes some guts. And I'm up for meeting new people and making new friends. He seemed decent enough.
So he wanted to hang out this weekend. I figured if we were out and about in the same vicinity I wouldn't be opposed to meeting up (in a group setting so he wouldn't get the wrong idea).
He text me Friday, but he was on the other side of town while I was downtown with friends. So in my mind that was that. I let him know I was hanging out with friends. Well, then things got a little bit stalkerish. He called me a total of six times over the course of Friday and Saturday. To which none of them I picked up. I text him letting him know I was busy, but apparently that wasn't enough.
So now that it's Monday he's back on my roof. He already text me this morning (at 7am!!!). To which I did not reply.
After this I've changed my stance on who gets my number because this is ridiculous. Damn being friendly. Oh, and he just text me asking if I want some McDonald's. This is comical and stupid.
Guess I'll be staying inside all week. Or leaving before 7am? To be continued...
Usually I'm out and about, at least to go for a walk/run in the afternoon. So I made small talk with the construction guys last week. One of them, my age, took a liking to me. He asked for my number. I'm not at all interested in dating the guy, but here's my thing with guys asking for numbers- as long as they are a gentleman about it, I'm not going to reject the guy because it takes some guts. And I'm up for meeting new people and making new friends. He seemed decent enough.
So he wanted to hang out this weekend. I figured if we were out and about in the same vicinity I wouldn't be opposed to meeting up (in a group setting so he wouldn't get the wrong idea).
He text me Friday, but he was on the other side of town while I was downtown with friends. So in my mind that was that. I let him know I was hanging out with friends. Well, then things got a little bit stalkerish. He called me a total of six times over the course of Friday and Saturday. To which none of them I picked up. I text him letting him know I was busy, but apparently that wasn't enough.
So now that it's Monday he's back on my roof. He already text me this morning (at 7am!!!). To which I did not reply.
After this I've changed my stance on who gets my number because this is ridiculous. Damn being friendly. Oh, and he just text me asking if I want some McDonald's. This is comical and stupid.
Guess I'll be staying inside all week. Or leaving before 7am? To be continued...
Unconditional Love: Not as Easy as Sunday School Made it Sound
I believe there are people in my life and your life, in every person’s life, that we are solely meant to love unconditionally. It's those people you feel connected to in some sort of unexplainable, perhaps karmic, way. (In regards to people outside of family because obviously there's an explainable connection within family.)
It’s so important to have people in our lives who show us that unconditional love because we all fuck up. We all say things we don’t mean and do things we shouldn’t. But the ones that know our heart will be right there to hold us up when we need them. At least that's what we hope for, and that’s who I want to be.
I want to be someone who loves purposefully and perseveringly so that those people I love unconditionally know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m there for them no matter what.
12/18/2011
A Clean Slate
Christmas is not going to really feel like Christmas this year. I'm kind of trying to bypass the holidays. I've decided to stay in town instead of making yet another trip to TN (that would make trip number three in just three months.) And also since I've gotten a job I don't want to take any days off.
Christmas is just one day anyway. A few of my friends have been super sweet and invited me to join their families for Christmas. As much as I appreciate it, I don't really want to spend Christmas with a family that isn't my own. It's a bit melancholy thinking of Christmas this year because I've spent most Christmases since I moved to Florida with my now ex-best friend's family, whom I considered family.
But it is what it is.
This last month of the year has been better. More clarity and progress. Moving along with my goals, but I am ready for a new year. I hate sounding pessimistic and pardon my lack of eloquence, but this year has SUCKED.
To be more insightful, and to look at it in a less superficial light- everything I went through was extremely necessary. This year wiped the slate clean in a sense. I was forced to deal with circumstances I certainly didn't want to. Things that had been brewing for a while.
2011 was a year of extremes. Extreme lows and extreme highs. When it was good it was fantastic, and exciting and thrilling. When it was bad, oh my God was it painful.
I've gained more independence, confidence, and the huge blessing of knowing what I want. It was a rough road to figuring out what I truly want my life to be, with a lot of surprising twists. Overall it was an exciting adventure. Exciting and exhausting.
Looking back at it, I kinda feel like a badass. I got through this year very alone. I drove across country for God's sake! I moved to a huge city not really knowing anyone. Although it made me more independent, I also learned that we're not meant to do things all alone. Relationships are one of the main points of life. We're here for each other. We're here to love, love, love and love some more.
Christmas is just one day anyway. A few of my friends have been super sweet and invited me to join their families for Christmas. As much as I appreciate it, I don't really want to spend Christmas with a family that isn't my own. It's a bit melancholy thinking of Christmas this year because I've spent most Christmases since I moved to Florida with my now ex-best friend's family, whom I considered family.
But it is what it is.
This last month of the year has been better. More clarity and progress. Moving along with my goals, but I am ready for a new year. I hate sounding pessimistic and pardon my lack of eloquence, but this year has SUCKED.
To be more insightful, and to look at it in a less superficial light- everything I went through was extremely necessary. This year wiped the slate clean in a sense. I was forced to deal with circumstances I certainly didn't want to. Things that had been brewing for a while.
2011 was a year of extremes. Extreme lows and extreme highs. When it was good it was fantastic, and exciting and thrilling. When it was bad, oh my God was it painful.
I've gained more independence, confidence, and the huge blessing of knowing what I want. It was a rough road to figuring out what I truly want my life to be, with a lot of surprising twists. Overall it was an exciting adventure. Exciting and exhausting.
Looking back at it, I kinda feel like a badass. I got through this year very alone. I drove across country for God's sake! I moved to a huge city not really knowing anyone. Although it made me more independent, I also learned that we're not meant to do things all alone. Relationships are one of the main points of life. We're here for each other. We're here to love, love, love and love some more.
12/17/2011
12/14/2011
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