HONESTY

Here's my problem with sharing my writing. I always tend to write about love. And from my own experience. So it ends up being about someone. Usually someone in my present, or recent past. And I'm not really comfortable with sharing that kind of nakedness with people.

But I think I need to get over that. I mean, honesty is scary. Especially for me, when it comes to love. And obviously if I'm writing about this stuff, I need to get it off my chest, and I think putting it out into the open will be completely freeing. (I mean look at Taylor Swift, she's learned to capitalize off her love stories! And she's taking names!)

Sooo, here it goes. This is basically a page from my diary.

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Two weeks was all we needed to fan our fire into flame.
Everything was magic, and seen through rose colored glasses.

You kept surprising me by raising the bar
Giving me exactly what I needed

Then we said goodbye
You didn't know, but I cried
I thought it was over

Then you didn't let go
Excited and relieved
it was new territory to me
Everything about us seemed exactly right.

Two weeks together again
you showed me home. Your life.
It all felt quite nice.

But then reality hit
and me being so idealistic thought miles shouldn't matter
All I wanted was for you to look past it
Tell me that we could figure it out
but you said no.

You had caught yourself
Freaked out
Were no longer willing to see what could come about.

Summer to fall and you asked to call, but fall turned to winter
Then some texts, thanks to alcohol
I hated that, because it just brought me to my past
Disappointment was all I felt
I thought you knew better than that.

But I couldn't tell you these things
the line had been drawn
the miles had created the distance I feared.

A year after we met, fate put us back where we began
But it's a whole different game when you've already tried
No boundaries set, I wanted to be carefree
But when the heart's involved it's more of a tightrope walk.

I played the balancing act hoping to get a glimmer of the past,
I believed in love too much not to try.

You said who knows, and we'll see
Grey used to be attractive to me
Oh, the elusivity.

Now, to me, grey just means you're too scared to say no.
Because maybe down the road, you'll regret letting go.

With love, I have a hard time forgetting
It's an unnatural feeling
to have someone important fade into the past.

But that was a girl
who wasn't quite sure of what to do or where to go
I don't have it all figured out, but this I know now

You are a part of my story,
Sometimes that's all it's meant to be.
Not the beginning or the ending,
But a chapter in between.