1/31/2013

Sorting Through the Fish

Here are just a few of the fantastic messages I have received since last night.

Hi ! How are u :) ! ? My name is juan and I'm. 31 years old ! I was wondering what's your name ? 

The problem here is that my username is Heather4444. 

Hi Am Kevin.You seem like someone that i would like too get too known.I hope you see something in my profile that you like and maybe we can start too get too known eachother.I hope too hear back from you soon

The problem here is, well, pretty obvious.
  
im genuine .. but i just dont seem to have luck meeting a genuine girl ... everyone on this site seems to have hella issues

The main problem here is the use of the word 'hella'.

Then you get a a ton that are simply 'hey, how are you?', so boring.

Out of 55 messages there have been 5 that were decently written or worth writing back. Not the greatest odds, but then again, all it takes is one.

Internet Dating is Already Laughing in My Face

Oh, the irony.

Three hours in and this internet dating web site is trying to be all ironic on me.

To understand the irony you need to know that the last guy I dated was a gentleman named Matt. And a few years before that there was a different Matt. Both wonderful people, I might add.

So I'm messaging back and forth with this guy, and we plan to meet up for coffee. Then I realize he doesn't have his name on his profile, so I ask him what his name is.

Yup, his name is Matt.

Real funny, universe. Real funny.

1/30/2013

Online Dating, Trial #2

So I'm finally doing it. I'm plunging into the world of internet dating... and it's time consuming! At least initially.

I did this one time before, and went on a couple dates. It was a mediocre experience, but now I'm back and am willing to give it another try.

So tonight I filled out all my information and then once I was finally set up, I became overwhelmed with the messages in my inbox.(I almost puked a little when typing that because it sounds so egocentric, but I think internet dating is like that for just about every girl.)

The time consuming part is weeding through them all. And it's such a judgmental process! But you have to be. All you have to go off of are pictures and some words.

It made me wonder what profiles of the people I've dated would look like...would I have wanted to get to know them from their online profile? I think so, but I can't be sure.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. Right now one of my prospects is a neurosurgeon from Brazil, so not too bad!

1/21/2013

What I'm Reading

Yesterday I began reading this:



...and today I finished it. I wouldn't recommend reading it that quickly because it's a lot to take in, but the concepts in this book are things I've been studying for the past year. I was reading it to strengthen my foundation and also to become familiar with the author.

These concepts are life changing. You have to be ready for it though.  

1/20/2013

Diet Coke Won't Make You Skinny, It Will Make You Sick

I used to drink Diet Coke like it was water. And a lot of it was to fill myself up with empty calories so that I wouldn't consume actual calories. Now that I've done some research, I know how backwards that is. Diet Coke, or anything with aspartame, is not good for you. My intuition told me this many times, and I even did some research during my Diet Coke drinking days, but I wasn't ready to give it up. I FINALLY gave it up last year. And I can tell you I don't miss it. Drinking Diet Coke gave me headaches and made me feel weird. But it is addictive so it took a while for me to give it up for good.

Over the past three years I've had a major makeover in what I consume. I avoid any chemical ridden foods and opt to eat as natural as I can. Out of nostalgia and curiosity, I tasted Diet Coke a few months back and I couldn't believe I used to like it. It tastes exactly like what it is...liquid chemicals!

Some people may think that it has to be okay since aspartame is approved by the FDA, but here is an article that exposes the corrupt way aspartame was approved.

To health and happiness!

Dolphin Rescue Hawaii

1/17/2013

Role Play

In the present moment, what roles do you have?

I was thinking about this earlier today because, within the last month, I've added a few roles to my life. Right now my roles are:
grad student
social worker
intern
friend
receptionist
waitress
bartender
daughter
pet owner

My intent is to mold these roles until they become roles that are best suited for me. For example, I'd like to replace waitress, receptionist, and bartender with published author. And some roles will continue to exist, but slightly change; maybe grad student will become PhD student. And social worker will become LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker).

Most people have roles they would like to change. I think it's easier to make that change if you see your current role as a catalyst to get you to where you want to be; rather than seeing it as a roadblock. So although being a waitress has nothing to do with becoming a published author, it adds drive to my intention of acquiring the role of 'author' because I know that I do not want the role of 'waitress' or 'receptionist' for the rest of my life.

When I view it this way it makes the hard days less difficult...because I have somewhere I'm going.

I guess that's really the point. Life is easier when you know where you're going. Things becoming amazingly clear! Instead of feeling like you're aimlessly floating around, suddenly you have purpose...and life becomes bigger than your little world. Also, you can see the interconnectedness of everyone better because you know where you fit!

Okay, I seriously need a nap now. 





1/13/2013

3am Rant

I am so sick of being being objectified because I'm a woman.

I do not see it as a compliment when someone whistles at me out the window as I am running. It only makes me want to punch that person.

Tonight a guy told me that some girls 'just want to be f*cked'. You know why she wants that? Because she  has low self esteem and is looking to a guy to fill the gaping void within herself.

I am sick of being seen as the lesser sex by society and it seems to be getting worse the older I get.

And I am sick of getting clumped in with women who are 'man-eaters' and meanly manipulate men and then make it seem like we are all like that. As I'm sure some guys could say the same thing...that they are tired of being punished for the men who manipulate women.

I don't want to post this because I don't appreciate the stigma that comes along with voicing these kinds of opinions. But I will post it because I'm not worried about what people think of me anymore.

I'm ranting here because I've had this on my mind for the past couple of hours and won't be able to sleep until I get it out.

...I would like to say that on the other side of the coin, I highly appreciate the men who know how to treat a woman. Hold onto that aspect. It's becoming quite a commodity.And there are women who will treat you well, too! I promise.

I also believe that you teach people how to treat you. But that's another post.






1/05/2013

In Honor of my Dad

It's my Dad's birthday today. He would be fifty! I can't believe it.

As my friends and family know, my Dad took his own life back in 2002. It's something that I have never been overly vocal about, and have tended to keep it close to my heart since it's such a personal matter but as I've gotten older and healed, I see that what I have experienced can be used to help others and unite with those who have been affected in some way by suicide.

There are many of us who have lost someone to suicide or maybe you haven't been too far away from making the decision yourself.

Suicide carries with it a certain amount of shame and is rarely talked about openly. It's likely to be swept under the rug by friends and family members, and can be awkward to tell someone when they ask, "How did he pass?" Awkward because, I don't want my dad to be remembered by a decision he made while depressed and at an ultimate low. I want him to be remembered for his kindness, smile, the way he played his guitar, his creativity, and crude humor. I want to share with people the memories of how he was a wonderful dad to me...memories of playing video games all night together, of when he surprised me with a set of my favorite ear rings after I got my ears pierced in the 4th grade, and of when he drove my cousin and me to our first dance in fifth grade. There are so many wonderful memories I wish I could bottle up.

I want to speak out in honor of my Dad. Like him, I have suffered from depression in the past and felt the lowest of lows until I contemplated whether life was worth carrying on. While experiencing my depression, I thought that there was something wrong with me- did I feel too much? I wondered if anyone else felt this abyss of pain and sadness that I was experiencing. I realized my dad must have felt the way I was feeling. And then I had the realization that if I was able to feel the heartache to such an intense degree, then that must mean that I can feel joy to that same degree as well. And that's what I decided to hold onto. 

I have some stories to share and eventually I'll get to it all, but I'm going to stop there for tonight. It's 3:30 am and time for some sleep...