Lies My Ego Tells Me

Do you ever want to tell your mind to just...

Shut the hell up!?!

Yeah. Lately, I do.

To negate the lies my ego tells me I am constantly trying to be conscious of my subconscious. Not an easy task!

Self work can be exhausting.

I wish...

Well, I got some news today. Looks like that change I am wanting (refer to my Belle post last week) is about to happen.

It’s time to hit the ground running, and finally spend my time doing something career wise that I really want to do.

It will be two and a half more years until I get my social work degree so in the meantime, I would love to make money writing. Or at least be doing something that is more to me than a paycheck.

Let me explain. I was hired on this job through a temp agency. Today my boss told me that she is going to place an ad for my job which I am welcome to apply for, but I have to go through the same hiring process. Meaning I have to submit my resume, a cover letter, and take some tests for Word and Excel; all things I already did through the temp agency.

My heart is telling me that this is a sign to start looking for other opportunities. All I’ve done is work meaningless jobs since I was 15. I’m 25 now and ready to make money from doing something I enjoy. During undergrad it was understandable, but I refuse to wait another two and a half years until I get my Masters degree. I wish I were someone that liked the regular 9-5 job, but I don’t! I loathe it.

So, I don’t know what I’m doing. But I’m going to embrace this opportunity for change and do all I can to manifest a positive career opportunity for myself.

Ideally I would like to:

1.) Be self employed
2.) Make money writing

So, now the adventure is in figuring out what that looks like… I wish I could make millions through blogging every day. Thousands would do, too.

Simple Things I Love About Today

1. It’s casual Friday in the office! I love working Fridays. Most people in the office work Mon-Thursday so it’s extra quiet on Fridays which I find comforting. And I love lounging in my jeans wear.

2. The weather is stellar. Florida has nothing on Tennessee Fall as far as the looks department (you can’t really beat the beautiful colors that Fall brings to TN) BUT in October it begins to get coooold at night. When it comes to cold, I’ve become somewhat of a wimp since I moved to Florida.

3. I’m finally getting back on the healthy track. I started my day off with oatmeal (oats, tbsp of maple syrup, cinnamon, raisins, and flax seed). I grew up eating the oatmeal packets, but now they gross me out. Homemade is so much better!

4. Using my juicer. It makes me happy. I hadn’t used it for about 4 months, and had basically forgotten I owned it until yesterday. It’s such an easy way to get all your fruits and veggies in for the day.

5. The cutest old man came into the office a few minutes ago. He was cheerful with a big smile on his face. I enjoyed chatting with him.

Goodbye Dwight, Pam, Jim, and Kelly

The Office! It’s the final season. This makes me very nostalgic. Whenever I hear the opening credit song I instantly feel good. It brings great memories and a sense of comfort. It reminds me of when I first moved to Florida. I was 19, had moved away from home for the first time, and got a job working at a pizza restaurant. I would lie in bed on my days off watching show after show of The Office.

So I always correlate The Office with that time of my life. It was the beginning of an enormously new chapter. I was naïve, brave, and excited for what the future held…and had no idea how much more I had to learn!

The season show opener was better than I expected, but still not anything like the old days. And I am really disappointed that Mindy Kaling (Kelly) is not going to be in the final season. But she has her own show which airs tonight. I am definitely going to check it out.

Cable: Friend or Foe?

I have mixed feelings about cable. Until last month I did not have cable for two years. Then I took it even further and went without a television for six months. Well, I am happy to report that I now have a television and cable.

I considered continuing my cable hiatus as a way to not support the massive amounts of crap tv that airs. But, television is something I really enjoy. After all, my undergrad degree is in media production and for a short while I worked in media. Thus, I gave up the notion of completely forgoing television, but now I am much more intentional with what I choose to watch.

There were a few reality shows that I had allowed myself to get sucked into like Teen Mom, and some of the Real Housewives shows. But I began to realize that, while watching these shows, I felt really bad. It made me think negatively about people and the world. Why did I continue to watch these shows? For the crazy story lines? Maybe it was the counselor in me wanting to dissect the actions of these insanely selfish, blind characters? Whatever it was I finally realized it was not only NOT benefiting me in any way, but it was making me feel worse!

Since giving up these crappy shows I’ve replaced them with those of more substance and wit. I found I enjoy the Travel Channel, HGTV, and even the History channel. Also, How I Met Your Mother, Friends, and 30 Rock are on at all hours of the day/night; all stellar go-to choices.

So goodbye Bravo, E!, and MTV. No more brainwashing for me.

Oh What a World, What a World!

     I walked into work today and instantly felt a hot flash come on. Then I remembered I’m only 25.  It wasn’t a hot flash, but heat blasting from the vents. This is Florida. Heat is not needed in September. But apparently the county has decided to grace our office with a sauna like setting. Thanks, but I can go to the gym for that.

     With each hour the heat is increasing by a degree. If this continues, by 5:00 I will have melted like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Social Worker...That's Me!

I am in semester two of receiving a Masters in Social Work. I can tell you I love it. I can especially say that right now while I’m not knee deep in study materials. But even then it’s not so bad. It surely makes a difference when studying something you find interesting and in line with your core values. Being in my second semester, I have only scratched the surface. There’s so much I want to do and I have high expectations for my career in the field.

I am also excited to be a part of changing the way social workers are viewed. If you are like me, before I did my research I pictured all social work as case management; basically being behind a desk all day doing paperwork and then making home visits. That’s only one of the wide array of opportunities to creating a career in social work.

Next semester I’ll be doing an internship. I can’t wait! Not sure where it will be yet. Probably the hospital. I want to first try out working with children.

Here are some Hollywood examples of Social Workers for your viewing pleasure:

 Anna Kendrick played a hospital Social Worker in the Oncology unit. She fell in love with her client. Classic rookie mistake! And a great way to get fired.

Mariah Carey played a case worker, which is the vision that most of you probably first have come to mind. She looks pretty awful... and did a great job!

Starbucks:Taking Over The World and My Wallet

I’m cutting out Starbucks in a significant way. I spent $100 last month on Starbucks. How ridiculous is that!? I’m almost too embarrassed to admit that, but we all have our vices. I go there to study, and before I know it I’ve been there five days a week. The plan is Starbucks once a week. I’ll report back in a month! …Hopefully my study habits won’t falter! ;)

P.S. I’ve done this before, but I always get back into the Starbucks rut. Why is that? I would really like to break the habit for good this time. It should be a once in a while treat, not a daily habit. Although, I am sure Starbucks would disagree. Damn that Starbucks Gold Card shining brightly in my wallet!

Belle

I feel like Belle Today.

The  line she sings keeps popping into my head...

"There must be more than this provincial life."

           I am ready for a good change.

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is my least favorite thing in the world to do. I have had to say goodbye a lot in my life. Especially in the past few years. Sometimes it has been out of choice; because I had outgrown a situation or relationship. But even that isn't easy.

The most difficult have been the times I've had to let go of a relationship when it was something that was really positive, but circumstances intervened making change inevitable.

This has happened a couple of times in my life. And it happened today. If I let my mind take over and overwhelm me it can be extremely frustrating. But this time I am wiser and understand the big picture better. I still have my moments of frustration; of feeling gypt or shortchanged because of circumstances. But this is where my faith comes in because with every experience I have left behind new, positive experiences have come in their place. And I trust that this situation will be no different.

When I am in a moment that is perfect in my eyes, I want to bottle it up so that I can experience that specific moment whenever I want. I wish that memories would never fade.

In my perfect world, we would always stay close with those that we have shared a special connection with.