The Quest for Love

This year I’ve been really wanting, hoping for, and feeling ready be in a healthy, committed, relationship. I’ve been single for six years. Of course I have dated throughout that time period, but no one has made it past the 3 month mark. According to a book I read, (okay, full disclosure- according to Patti Lestrange of Millionaire Matchmaker) at about three months is when the decision is usually made to make the relationship exclusive or not. That just hasn’t happened either because of distance, or realizing there wasn’t enough connection/compatibility.

At one point, what seems like a long time ago, I had a boyfriend for two years, and it was a healthy relationship. So I know it’s possible. But that was six years ago, and I was 19. As I got older, and suffered heartbreak, things became more complicated.

Thankfully, I’ve only had one toxic relationship and the situation lasted way too long (sorry, if you are reading this mister, but I think you’d agree). The good news is I learned basically every relationship lesson I apparently needed to learn with the one guy. I’m quite efficient.

The problem can be the aftermath. Toxic relationships leave residue. Even after we’ve moved forward, we may find ourselves being overly cautious of repeating the same mistakes, and cautious with opening up to another person. For the most part, I’ve worked through that issue…

Lately, it’s all about re-building trust with myself. At times I find it difficult to trust my own judgment, since who I believed in for so long to be right for me, turned out to be all wrong. It can cause moments of internal insanity. But when I’m coming from a clear heart and mind, I realize that I can trust myself. I can trust myself because now I know better!

To keep it simple, these are a few guidelines I use now:
If a relationship is complicated from the beginning, run away as fast as you can.
SERIOUSLY. RUN LIKE THE WIND.

If a relationship has you questioning yourself and overanalyzing everything,
RUN LIKE THE WIND.

And if you find yourself making excuses for the other person to yourself and your friends,
RUN LIKE THE WIND.