1/31/2012
1/26/2012
1/13/2012
TENNESSEE PRIDE
I was going to write a poem or something of the sort in honor of my dad's birthday (January 5th), but I thought of this and think it would be more appropriate than writing a sappy poem. My dad always made me laugh and when I was about 9 years old I got such a kick out of him making fun of this commercial.
"Take Home a package of Tennessee pride!"
Love you, Dad.
-VMT
Ceasing to Exist
There was a woman who lived in a time capsule.
Frozen in time she did the same things day in and day out.
She wondered what she did to deserve this captive life.
Her mind guarded by the gates of time.
The little girl she worried about had a life outside of her own.
She hoped one day for them to share life in the time capsule.
But it was a hopeless dream.
The time capsule kept the woman safe from the changes of life.
But it kept her captive from freeing her mind and heart.
The little girl wished and hoped for it to be different one day.
She remembered what it had been like before the time capsule.
But the woman could no longer remember life before it.
Time had become an enemy in which she pretended did not exist.
*After reading this, it could be construed as an emotional battle between young and old, but it is actually a depiction of a relationship between a mother and daughter.
Frozen in time she did the same things day in and day out.
She wondered what she did to deserve this captive life.
Her mind guarded by the gates of time.
The little girl she worried about had a life outside of her own.
She hoped one day for them to share life in the time capsule.
But it was a hopeless dream.
The time capsule kept the woman safe from the changes of life.
But it kept her captive from freeing her mind and heart.
The little girl wished and hoped for it to be different one day.
She remembered what it had been like before the time capsule.
But the woman could no longer remember life before it.
Time had become an enemy in which she pretended did not exist.
*After reading this, it could be construed as an emotional battle between young and old, but it is actually a depiction of a relationship between a mother and daughter.
1/10/2012
Okay, okay. I caved.
I went out tonight to watch a football game with some friends, and I had a beer.
Oh, well. I only had one beer so it's not like I went on a bender or anything. I think it's safe to say that rehab is not in my future.
I think I do best with moderation. In this case, I don't think all or nothing works for me. So I'm just going to stick to some general guidelines such as a drink maximum (2-3) and only drink an allotted number of days per week (also 2-3).
All right. That was fun.
I went out tonight to watch a football game with some friends, and I had a beer.
Oh, well. I only had one beer so it's not like I went on a bender or anything. I think it's safe to say that rehab is not in my future.
I think I do best with moderation. In this case, I don't think all or nothing works for me. So I'm just going to stick to some general guidelines such as a drink maximum (2-3) and only drink an allotted number of days per week (also 2-3).
All right. That was fun.
1/08/2012
1111
Still seeing this everywhere. All the time. Not a day has passed that I haven't seen it at least once a day for the past month. It has amped up the past two days. Yesterday 3 times, today 7 times.
Day #8 No Alcohol
Since the last post going sans alcohol has been fine. It was fine going to dinner and not having a drink. I think it has been more about breaking the habit of coming home to drink wine after work and making drinks at home that I need to cut out. Boredom led me to drink sometimes. But it's definitely not a good idea to drink alone. I used to like it because I thought it helped with my writing. But after looking over that stuff, and journal entries I've written inebriated...they are just dark, depressing and skewed. So that theory is now revoked.
I'm still sticking with the month long hiatus. After NYE I need the alcohol detox. And once the month is over I'll implement some guidelines for myself like no drinking alone and a drink maximum.
I'm still sticking with the month long hiatus. After NYE I need the alcohol detox. And once the month is over I'll implement some guidelines for myself like no drinking alone and a drink maximum.
A Lesson From the 90s
This song just popped into my head a few minutes ago and it got me thinking about how we, in large part, are responsible for saving ourselves.
I believe in a higher power, and 'giving it all to God'- as the Christian realm speaks of. But I think that gets overused along with the phrase 'Let go and let God'. God cannot save us from ourselves (thus, free will). My mother used to say that phrase, and she even had a magnet of it on our fridge growing up. It always rubbed me the wrong way. To me, it sounds like an excuse to sit around and do nothing about anything.
Free will is a powerful tool. It gives you and I the ability to build ourselves up, or tear ourselves down.
"Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?" Well, Jewel, no one.
I believe in a higher power, and 'giving it all to God'- as the Christian realm speaks of. But I think that gets overused along with the phrase 'Let go and let God'. God cannot save us from ourselves (thus, free will). My mother used to say that phrase, and she even had a magnet of it on our fridge growing up. It always rubbed me the wrong way. To me, it sounds like an excuse to sit around and do nothing about anything.
Free will is a powerful tool. It gives you and I the ability to build ourselves up, or tear ourselves down.
"Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?" Well, Jewel, no one.
1/06/2012
Day 6
This is harder than I thought it would be.
Going out for dinner tonight and I would love a glass of wine or two. Or a beer. Or all of the above.
It's only day six.
Some moments I think I am being extreme by cutting it out completely, but the fact that I really would love a drink or two (but maybe it would turn into more?) makes me realize I need to be doing this. If I can't get through a month then I've got an issue on my hands.
But then again, I can barely go a week without having french fries. So maybe I just need to practice portion control with drinking as I do french fries? But for these beginning stages I think it's best to stick to a month sans alcohol.
Oh, plus I found this online quiz and according to it only 6% of the female population drink as much or more than I do.
That's not so good.
Going out for dinner tonight and I would love a glass of wine or two. Or a beer. Or all of the above.
It's only day six.
Some moments I think I am being extreme by cutting it out completely, but the fact that I really would love a drink or two (but maybe it would turn into more?) makes me realize I need to be doing this. If I can't get through a month then I've got an issue on my hands.
But then again, I can barely go a week without having french fries. So maybe I just need to practice portion control with drinking as I do french fries? But for these beginning stages I think it's best to stick to a month sans alcohol.
Oh, plus I found this online quiz and according to it only 6% of the female population drink as much or more than I do.
That's not so good.
1/05/2012
I'd like a virgin vodka tonic...
Day 4 of no alcohol. It's been relatively easy until tonight. I'm used to coming home from work and having wine. I'm feeling agitated.
But I HAVE to stick with it because I made the commitment.
I'll get over it.
But I HAVE to stick with it because I made the commitment.
I'll get over it.
1/02/2012
I'm giving up alcohol. At least for a month. Maybe longer.
At this point in my life, the cons of drinking far outweigh the pros. I'm honestly sick of how alcohol chips away at the best people, ruins relationships, and dulls clarity. It's such a sneaky drug- disguised as a celebration tool when it is actually classified as a depressant.
I'm ready to grow up. I don't want to lead the life of a 22 year old. I'm almost 25 and know what I want. At this point in my life, alcohol just seems like a roadblock.
Right now I just have disdain for it.
It contributed majorly to my dad's death. And I've watched as it has contributed to ruining others' lives.
With my family history of alcoholism especially, why continue to play with fire?
It's too often used as a band-aid, but wounds heal faster when they're out in the open.
At this point in my life, the cons of drinking far outweigh the pros. I'm honestly sick of how alcohol chips away at the best people, ruins relationships, and dulls clarity. It's such a sneaky drug- disguised as a celebration tool when it is actually classified as a depressant.
I'm ready to grow up. I don't want to lead the life of a 22 year old. I'm almost 25 and know what I want. At this point in my life, alcohol just seems like a roadblock.
Right now I just have disdain for it.
It contributed majorly to my dad's death. And I've watched as it has contributed to ruining others' lives.
With my family history of alcoholism especially, why continue to play with fire?
It's too often used as a band-aid, but wounds heal faster when they're out in the open.
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