Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is my least favorite thing in the world to do. I have had to say goodbye a lot in my life. Especially in the past few years. Sometimes it has been out of choice; because I had outgrown a situation or relationship. But even that isn't easy.

The most difficult have been the times I've had to let go of a relationship when it was something that was really positive, but circumstances intervened making change inevitable.

This has happened a couple of times in my life. And it happened today. If I let my mind take over and overwhelm me it can be extremely frustrating. But this time I am wiser and understand the big picture better. I still have my moments of frustration; of feeling gypt or shortchanged because of circumstances. But this is where my faith comes in because with every experience I have left behind new, positive experiences have come in their place. And I trust that this situation will be no different.

When I am in a moment that is perfect in my eyes, I want to bottle it up so that I can experience that specific moment whenever I want. I wish that memories would never fade.

In my perfect world, we would always stay close with those that we have shared a special connection with.
 

Love is a Choice

I used to think of romantic relationships as mostly a fated thing, but I don't see it that way anymore. I believe that many of the people in our lives are fated, but what happens in those relationships is up to us.

And now I don't believe that there's necessarily a wrong choice when it comes to love (as long as you are not acting selfishly or out of ego). Instead I see each choice as providing a different outcome; not necessarily better or worse, but different.

Anyway, that's my musing for the night.

I'm back!

I've been gone for a while getting my life in order, but now I am back! I've been getting a lot of pageviews so thank you for that, and I will start posting again so there will be new blogs up much, much more frequently. Thanks for reading. :)

The Grass is Greener

I've been thinking about geography. About how I ended up here in Gainesville, and thinking about my other experiences in the cities I have lived. Those cities being Franklin, St.Augustine, Jacksonville, and Los Angeles. For every city I have lived in one thing remained the same. People that had lived there for years would cynically ask me, "Why would you move to ----?" Even in L.A. this happened. It seems to me that all of us, to some extent, have the grass is greener syndrome.

I had this for a long time. Until this year, I constantly moved. Looking back, I see that it was a way for me to figure my life out. It was my means to an end. If I hadn't moved, especially to Los Angeles, I would have always wondered, "Would I be happier if I were living in L.A.?"

For me, it wasn't my happiness. But that experience helped me to realize that we are not a victim of our circumstances...

Owning and believing that I am the author of my life has granted me much more power than I used to credit myself with. Instead of believing in fate, I believe in choices. I believe there are some fated occurrences that have happened and will happen throughout my life, but ultimately I make the choice in how I want to react, or participate in said circumstances.

I guess what I am saying is life no longer drags me along for the ride. I have finally moved into the driver's seat.

Vice President of Solar Impact, Elaine M. Jacobson, was kind enough to answer some of my questions regarding solar energy.

Solar Impact is located at 4509 NW 23rd Ave. Gainesville, FL 32606
For more great information visit their web site at www.solarimpact.com

I am starting my first video blog series concerning humanitarian issues, with a focus on empowering the individual. There are some questions that I would like answered, and topics I want to delve into concerning the environment, government, health, and spiritual issues. I will be sharing my experiences as I gather information. Should be enlightening!

Power & Beauty

You know what is ridiculous? I just cropped a picture for Facebook because I did not like the way my stomach looked in it. It was a bathing suit picture.

I don’t want to care about that stuff anymore. I want to take care of my body and eat healthy, but I do not want to obsess and judge myself anymore. I was thinking about this picture that was taken at the beach, and wondering why it bothers me so much that I would feel the need to crop a picture for Facebook. It doesn’t make anyone love me any more or less. No matter how tight my abs are- that does not affect my happiness. Sure, perhaps it would give myself a temporary boost to have a six pack, but my body is beautiful now and I don’t want to always be striving for it to be better. I do not want to be in the rat race of always thinking things could be a little bit better.

Then I began to think about how if I have a daughter I want her to feel free from judgement and not obsess about her looks. I want her to love herself and see herself as I would see her- with unconditional love.

I started to think about how I would react to the picture of myself if it were my daughter or a best friend (since we should love and treat ourselves with that unconditional love we have for those nearest and dearest to us). My reaction would be totally different. I would love the picture! I would tell her she looks beautiful and really mean it! And that’s the reaction that I should have toward myself.

And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve watched most of my friends do this. We pick apart each picture of ourselves. “Don’t post that, my arm looks fat” or “Gross. I look disgusting.”

I want us, and I mean women, to let go of those insecurities and see ourselves through the eyes of unconditional love. Because in that space, five pounds doesn’t make an ounce of difference. And I want us, as women, to be less judgmental of each other. But how do we do this collectively?

I believe there is change happening. We’re finally starting to see a shift in the idea of what ‘perfect’ is. And it starts with the individual.

I know I still have work to do in this area- but I am hoping that sharing this with you helps us to individually and collectively embrace our power and own our beauty.